I tried to read or listen to music when I wasn't in the water but it was hard not to look at the young women if they were there. I tried to spy at them discreetly but sometimes they caught me. When they did I gave them a smile and every time they smiled back but then quickly looked away and giggled with each other. But the one that I liked the most of them seemed braver and always looked back longer and sometimes I had to look away to not seem creepy.I guess they didn't think I was creepy, maybe they liked the attention I gave them, because they started to settle down close to me in the direction I would be facing most of the time. Or maybe I chose my spot subconsciously depending on where I thought they would make their base of the day, I sure did so consciously when they were there before me. Or maybe they had their favorite place and I just didn't notice that they always occupied the same spot. I guess that we after a while felt a bit familiar with each other since we started to. After I dry heaved a dozen or more times, I crawled to the sink, and hauled myself up. Light spilled in from the bedroom area, I had neglected to darken the room before wallowing in my damnable self pity.I looked like I felt; a haggard old man more friends with agonizing death than ever I would be with Rachel. A lost soul. If my prose leaves something to be desired, surely it is because as I write this, I’m reliving the agony I felt, the pain of loss, of staring deep into Nietzsche’s abyss, and the harrowing feeling of being drilled to my core by the eyes of the beast. I filled a glass with water and rinsed out my mouth.But it wasn’t enough to rid my mouth of that caustic burn, so I turned on the lights, wincing in pain, and put toothpaste on my toothbrush.I stopped, dropping the tube of Colgate and my brush. I touched the sink to the right of where my toothbrush had been. I don’t have very many idiosyncrasies, but this was one of them…I always placed my straight razor to the right.
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